Sea Ray Owners

Here's something that may not be a problem in some other parts of the country, but here in Tampa Bay, Florida, we have a huge problem with Sea Ray owners. Not only do Sea Ray owners own nearly half the boats in the bay, but at least 90% of them have absolutely no clue about anything nautical. This can make them a very annoying lot.

Sea Ray is huge. They're the top selling powerboat company in the country, possibly due to the fact that Marine Max, the largest boat brokerage in the country, sells them like they're going out of style. To Sea Ray's advantage, they design fairly nice boats and even give fairly good customer service, the company isn't bad at all. So what could be the problem you ask? It's their customers. I have never met a more truthfully stereotyped segment of a population than Sea Ray owners. To complicate matters though there are about 4 types of owners, 3 of which suck royally. The other is that last 10% that for some reason know a little something about boats yet somehow still ended up with a Sea Slug, I mean Ray...

The first type seems to be the most common, at least in marine retail anyways. This kind of owner has just spent at least 150k on his new boat in the last couple of years. He's got money, he's got a boat, but he has no idea how anything on it works. He expects to turn the key and go. When something breaks onboard he immediately heads to his local supply shop and grabs the nearest employee, no matter what they may be doing at the time. Coming back from lunch, helping someone order a part, demonstrating electronics, talking on the phone, entertaining the presisdent, they don't care, they've got a problem and they want help now! The first thing they say must come in the Sea Ray owners manual (if these people can even read that is) and it must be written something like this:

"Brazenly walk up to someone and puff out your chest saying, 'I've got a __ year Sea Ray, model ______' here you pause while the person should act impressed at your superb choice of vessels. After they regain their composure, say 'I need a _____ for my boat' and then the person you're talking to should immediately and magically produce the part from thin air so that you may be on your way. If they don't have it, yell at them and storm out of the store."

I swear to God himself that I get approached by someone with almost this exact template of speech every day I work. Truth of the matter is, I don't care that you have a Sea Ray, in fact I, and the people I work with, look down on you because you and every other person with one tries to sound important for having a mediocre boat, you're not, you bought a boat with no class and it reflects in you. Secondly I don't have a magic program that tells me the exact part you need to replace. Boats don't work like cars, For one there are THOUSANDS of manufacturers, many of whom make several models. They don't even use the exact same parts for every single boat in that production line. It's simply impossible to write a database that intense, the records wouldn't even be there if someone tried. Next off, you can't have your part immediately all the time. Like I said before, there are just too many parts to keep it all in stock, be it in a warehouse, much less a retail store. In fact even almighty Sea Ray can't keep all their parts in THEIR warehouse all the time. Normally I can get just about anything in two working days if it's in my warehouse, two weeks if it's from the manufacturer. I don't know when overnight or two day shipping became too slow, but that's a rant for another day. Lastly on this first type of Sea Ray owner, feel free to get pissed off and storm out of the store, you'll be back and since you didn't order your part, it still won't be here and you'll have to wait even longer. Or you could get it from Sea Ray, who will probably charge you even more than we will and quite possibly will take longer to get.

Whew that was a bit of a rant... on to the next type of Sea Ray owner... The asshole.

This type may actually outnumber the first type as many of them are actually assholes reciting what they were taught to say by Sea Ray. This isn't limited to just the storefront though, now we're on the water. This is the asshat who is too old to have a jet ski, yet still wants to break all the rules. These people fly through no wake zones obliviously. They get pissed at anything that slows them down or yells at them. They have no regard for safety of others, and their shit doesn't stink. I actually had a customer come into the store to buy a megaphone with a police type siren just to scare a consistent perpetrator of the no wake zone. Out of curiosity another associate asked him what kind of boat the person was in. Of course, a Sea Ray. Now chock that one up to coincidence, one example can't be held for everyone, and of course the people I work with and myself are a little biased. Luckily to save this argument, another customer came in and started asking questions about why the guy was using the siren in the store. This person came in long after we inquired about the type of boat the culprit was in. His question to the customer with the bullhorn when told the reason for the purchase. "Let me guess, it's a Sea Ray?" Even other customers are aware of their reputation. I hate these people, they're dangerous and spiteful to boot.

Next up on the list of owners, we have the newbie. Newbie doesn't exactly mean they're completely new to boating, which most Sea Ray owners are, but they don't care about learning ANYTHING about their boats EVER. They ask wonderful questions like, What does a bilge pump do and do I need it? (the correct answer to anybody asking this question who has owned a boat for more than a month is always 'It's not important and no you don't need it') Of course they're fun to sell stuff to, you just tell them they need it and they'll buy it, and probably even hire one of your friends to install it. These people aren't so bad as they can be helped and should be helped if at all possible, every now and then you get one that actually starts to show an interest. Unfortunately, most never do and to them having a boat they use twice a year is a status symbol. At one marina here I counted 6 different 35+ foot Sea Rays in a row, of which not a single one had moved in over 6 months, that's just sad to me, even boats I don't like deserve to be used. I can't imagine how they treat their wives.

The last type of owners are the remaining 10% who are normal boaters. They use their boats, and they actually know how to use them. They've learned at least something about the different systems on the boat as well. And truthfully most of them are looking to get something different from a Sea Ray, even Sea Ray owners don't like reputation they have outside of their owners' community.

And there you have it, my preliminary take on Sea Ray owners. I'm sure at some point I'll go into more detail about some aspects of them, like the one that tried to return hundreds of dollars worth of stuff he'd had for 4 years, and also at triple what he paid for it. Not to mention it's normally Sea Ray owners that come into the store 2 minutes to close just to look around for 45 minutes. But those are stories for another time, until then keep safe and enjoy the water!